I love you my baby

Well, at about this time of night (nearly midnight) two years ago, I had just said goodnight to Owen and was about to go to bed. I paused to shake some biscuits out of the dispenser for the cats and as a bent over I got a bit of a surprise...my water broke.

My gosh it was an interesting 23 hours. I called out to Owen to grab some towels and he came running in with the most hilarious look on his face. Hehehe, it makes me smile just remembering it. We excitedly called up the hospital to find out what to do next and were told to make our way up when we were ready. We were running around the house like idiots (well Owen was running, I was waddling around with a towel between my legs), grabbing things we might need such as snack biscuits which of course never got opened and checking off our checklist in the hospital brochure. So I had a shower, got dressed and up we went.

It was a very nervously exciting ride. I could not stop giggling and smiling. After 9 months of kicks and wriggles we were going to meet our first child. The first couple of hours we just sat/lied around on the monitor, waiting waiting waiting, then the contractions started to kick in. Hmm, not too bad I was thinking to myself. Owen was told to go home and get some rest as I was being taken around to the ward so off he went and off I went. I sort of felt like I was being sent to the principals office. You know that feeling...a bit scared, very nervous, not knowing what was going to happen next.

I was taken to a group room where I got the corner bed with a view. I knew one of the nurses so she came to check on me before she went off shift so I presume it was around 6 in the morning. My contractions started to get a bit more niggly and I couldn't sit still. I was pacing around the bed. Mum phoned and came up and we sat in the cubicle for awhile longer until I needed to move around some more and off we went to pace the halls. For hours. Just before visiting hours started at 11am we went out to the foyer and my Grandma and Aunt Jenny were out there so Mum had a bit of a chat with them while I just paced. Waiting for my Owen to come back. I almost collapsed into his arms as he got out of the lift. I burst into tears. I had been doing a pretty good job of holding it together up until then while Mum introduced me to all the hospital staff(she works there, on that floor) but when I saw him I just couldn't help it. I thought it was painful then!! I stopped a nurse in the hallway to ask for some panadol or whatever and she gave a little chuckle. "I think your a bit past the panadol stage", she said. We went back to our bed area to organise things to take around to the delivery suites and off we went. Well that next couple of hours were PAINFULL. I was just having a hot shower for pain relief and then the midwife came and said I'd better get out and we'd crack open some gas.

I LOVE that gas!! I was hilarious...apparently. The midwife even laughed at me. I was making duck motions with the gas nozzle and quaking for hours apparently. Hot footing it around the room with each contraction with the nozzle grasped tightly in my hand. The emergency helicopter landed and I was at the window waving like crazy saying, "Oh look, Ben's here!!"(our friend who's an engineer that works on the rescue chopper). After a few more hours I screamed out in desperation for some pethadine. Apparently I was very polite all through my labour. Saying please and thank you. The doctor came to visit and after a while he decided I wasn't progressing and needed to have a cesarean so I was prepped and had an epidural administered but he had an emergency to attend to and in his absence the senior OB came by and decided that I could deliver naturally. The doctor came back in after finishing his surgery and we carried on, slowly it seemed. My contractions had slowed and I was pretty tired by then but we pushed on.

Then at 10.40pm on Sunday the 3rd of April, 2005, our beautiful son, Jack was born into this world. It is so hard to describe the feelings of extraordinary joy you feel when you give birth to your child. What a monumental experience childbirth is. He weighed in at 3490g, a nice weight I thought. He had an apgar of 9 and had a bit of a fever and some unusual striations on his leg so I only got to see him initially for a little hold before he was taken to the special care nursery for some antibiotics.

I feel so honoured to be the mother of such a beautiful child. He is smart and handsome and well mannered and co-ordinated and has a killer grin that I'm sure will break many hearts in his teen years. I feel blessed to be a mother and honoured that I could carry and deliver my husbands child. It has changed me in so many ways and I am grateful. He is a precious child that for many years I thought was never going to be and I treasure the gift that is he.

I love you my baby boy. Happy 2nd Birthday!!