The TTC Merry-Go-Round!!

F*ck, I hate it!! Okay, so if you havn't noticed this is probably going to be a depressing post...Read on if you wish.

Let me start out by saying that I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO very greatful that we have our precious Jack and that he is enough. Without making him sound like a possession or something that is owed to me I am so grateful that he is our son and that we conceived him after all that time and let me say that I am a bit of a lazy TTC'r. I'll chart for awhile or whatever but I do lose patience pretty quickly but in my defence I have had a lot of dissapointment in that department. I also know that there are a great number of people out there that have the same problem or that never get to experience parenthood and I truly feel awful for them and hope and wish that every woman out there that aches and yearns to hold their own precious child in their arms does get that wish.

Anyhoo, back to me :P The only contraception that we have used since Jack's birth is the screaming baby method and I know that these things don't just happen but you know, I just thought that this time around I would catch a break. I was sure that I would be pregnant quickly and easily but it seems that it's just not to be. I just don't know what to do. I'm 34 this year so my healthy baby production years are getting mighty short and I would LOVE to have another child (I think, I do remember sleepless nights and how bad they feel) and I know Owen would like to have another child too but I don't want the shit that goes with it. The waiting, the sex on comand (although it's always good ((just in case Owen reads this:P))tee hee), the waiting, the testing, the dissapointment, the saddness, the longing, the tears, the stress, the arguments it causes. I just truly do not think I could handle the same crap again. So that's my bitch for the week.

Anyone got any magic fertility spells???